Baby knitting

So I am going to make a pair of baby booties for a baby shower next week and I really find myself wanting to start knitting for our potential bundle of joy. I know I know we aren't even pregnant yet! But I already have the yarn. It was on sale so I couldn't resist.

Should I start on it? It would look like this but it would be white where the eyelets are and yellow around the edging where the seedstich is.

Fun Stitch Baby Blanket Pattern

Showers

What is a good shower present? And how much do people usually spend at showers? I find myself contemplating this question not only because I hope to have my own shower since we are TTC but also because I am being invited to showers.

It is so interesting to go through a year or two of receiving wedding invitations and now start receiving the baby shower invitations!

I have been to my share of baby showers and I have seen people usually get smaller presents about $50 and less and maybe one or two of the big ticket items from the grandparents-to-be. This seems pretty standard for Ohio anyways but here in CA it seems to be a little different.

I guess all you can do in the end is work with the registry and hope for the best.

I need an intervention

I really think I need an intervention. I have to stop buying baby type stuff until I actually have one on the way! I have made this promise to myself before but when I thought I could have conceived last cycle I broke down and started up again. I bought a couple outfits that were super cheap on eBay only a couple of bucks, so I didn't feel bad about that. It really was the breast pump that did me in. I know I know! What the hell am I doing buying a breast pump when I wasn't even sure if I was pregnant yet?! Well I thought I was I felt like I was and it was such a great deal on eBay! The pump retails for about $319 and I got it for about $100 less! Brand new - I thought it was a great deal. Plus some people are funny about getting that kind of stuff for a shower, so I thought I'd just take it out of the senario. Anyways this little lapse in judgment set me back some and I will be penny pinching for the next month. Oh well.

The blue and pink debate

It has become very common nowadays for doctors to tell an expectant couple the sex of their fetus. For a while I considered not wanting to know the sex.

When I talked to the husband about this a few years ago, he was almost upset because he thought it was inconsiderate to the family and friends who would be purchasing shower presents. If we knew the sex then people could purchase blue or pink clothes and the appropriate kind of disposable diapers. And also how should you decorate the room?

My feeling is that no matter what the sex of our future children happen to be I don't want them to be labeled from birth with color coding. Why can't people just be yellows, greens, tans, other pastels, can all be very acceptable for both sexes.

Girls are sugar and spice and everything nice - and boys are what . . . something to do with puppy dog tails. Who made this crap up? I don't want to label my children. I don't want them to be subjected to thousands of years of sexism upon their birth or even before the birth.

If a boy wants to wear lavender - who cares. If a girl wants to wear a fireman's costume - good for her!

All this said - I love surprises - and this would be the ultimate surprise. The husband wants to also know the sex because he is worried I will be disappointed with having a boy. If I were really that concerned with having a boy I would opt for artificial insemination with only X sperms that were already singled out in a lab. - Sex selection - that's another blog - reminds me of female infanticide in China or medieval times.

Lets just have happy healthy babies without the color coding!

So what will I do? I don't know ask me when I am pregnant.

Relief vs. Disappointment

During my entire reproductive life I've felt relieved when my period arrived because it meant that I hadn't gotten pregnant.

Now that the husband and I are TTC - having a period means a slight disappointment.

I was thinking how ironic this new change in feelings really is this morning. 8 years ago I would have been releived, since I was still in college and the husband and I were still engaged at that time. But now - there is a small feeling of emptiness down there and no feelings of relief.

Well I guess it can be bittersweet because with all my charting I know that I did ovulate and I had a decent length for my leuteal phase - it just wasn't meant to be this past cycle.

Oh well I guess I will just have to have more sex!

10 Days from Hell

So I have been holding my breath this past week. Am I pregnant? Am I not pregnant?

If I am not then why am I so tired, why do my boobs hurt, and why is food not at all interesting to me. If I am not then this must be the PMS from hell!

The temps stayed up all week - bating my hopes - until today when it fell - so I am definatively not pregnant. So I am declaring PMS an evil aspect of life and I am thinking about petitioning the church it label it a demon entity.

If you would like to sign my petition to officially label PMS a Demon Entity please feel free to coment and I will add your name to the email petition.

Also "words" that should never be spoken: "preggers" - not a word but I definatly hate it. Also the use of the word "blastocyte" when refering to your potentialy unborn child, especially when you don't know if you wife is pregnant or not.

This cycle's charting

Too controversial?

So it strikes me that I may have pissed of some people with my last couple of postings.

Just an FYI: I have contacted the CCL to inquire about classes. It seems that the FAM network of teachers is more closeknit and you actually have to pay to get a listing of teachers. Which I also do not agree with by the way.

Their explanation for the secrecy/fee is that the members tend to be prochoice. I guess they have been targeted in the past because of their fertility beliefs.

It's such a shame that all beliefs can't just be tollerated by everyone.

It is fear like this that holds back the spread of this wonderful knowledge.

Knowledge is Power: The Government and The Church - NFP / FAM

My rant in yesterday's blog we not meant to be a slam on the church or anything. Although I personally do not identify with the Catholic church even though I was raised as a Catholic, anyone can believe anything they want to.

My point in regards to Natural Family Planning (NFP) and Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) in regards to the government and the church maybe should be clarified.

When I first started my menses (way back when) I was attending a Catholic School. During the little 45 min-1 hr. session where the nuns separate you from the boys and teach you about what being a woman means. We were told and I quote "Your husband will teach you all you need to know about intercourse." Needless to say I know of several girls who found this info out first hand before high school started and ended that got pregnant.

Now if the church already knew all this wonderful information about when you are fertile and when you aren't regardless of the fact that they do not believe you should have sex outside of marriage - they could have at least taught us what all these bodily things mean. I can't tell you how horrible I thought I was for being what I that was "dirty" when I actually had very normal cervical fluid (CF). This outrages me that because of one church held belief that women should be kept in the dark from this info!

Furthermore - in Katie Singer's The Garden of Fertility, she states that she tried to become a NFP/FAM teacher and the church would not allow her to become a teacher of the methods becasue she was not married and she was not celibate. What!? Why is the church holding back this information from women who are looking for the information. Granted the Couple to Couple League (CCL) [a wonderful organization] do teach non-Catholics but only if you are married. I doubt that they are doing classes for monogamous couples at college campuses across the country!

Ok - now some may argue that a private organization like the church who hold specific beliefs can teach or not teach whomever they want. Ok - I don't agree with it but I can see that argument.

In addition to all this - I later went to a public High School. Now here is where I expect my governemnt school system to step up and teach the science of what a female's body is actually doing in Health Class. If there is anywhere that FAM should be taught it is in a public school where my tax dollars are being used or at least in college! I even took Human Sexuality in college too and no where was there any mention of NFP or FAM! I am completely outraged at this -- I PAID for that college class! Our taxes pay for Health and sex ed classes for our schools and we aren't teaching young women what is happening right inside their own bodies. By the way I thought we had separation of church and state, so what the church won't teach young single women the state school systems should.

I am not saying to promote being sexually active at a young age or sex without condoms for young adults who are not in a monogomous relationship. I am saying teach these young women the science of what is happening in her own body!

Knowledge is Power!

Knowledge flowing out of my ears!

Many thanks to VJ who suggested The Garden of Fertility by Katie Singer.



This book has gotten me through the hours of being propped up on sofa pillows this week! It truly is a companion book to Toni Weschler's Taking Charge of Your Fertility



I am so glad to read The Garden of Fertility because it cleared up a few questions that I had after reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. If you are looking for info on charting your cycles either to keep from getting pregnant or to get pregnant or just to know more about your own health - these two books are a MUST HAVE!!

I continue to be outraged that this information is not more freely taught to young women! Yet another way that the government and the church feed into their phobias about sexuality. Oh my - imagine how horrible it would be for women (of any age married or single) across the U.S. to know exactly what was going on her OWN body! Furthermore imagine the chaos that would ensue, if all those young unmarried or married women knew when they were fertile and infertile each month! Of course it makes so much more sense to keep this top-secret information out of these women's hands. Only god,the government, or a husband should control woman's fertility!

Pillow Princess

My Dr. told me that while TTC I should remain in a reclined position for 1 hour to give the give the husband's troops gravity help. Oh fun fun fun! I get to be trapped for an hour in bed. Normally laying around in bed is not a chore for me but you try doing that knowing you can't move! Really I am not complaining . . .

Great husband that I have he is very accomodating though. He arranges the pillows for me, covers me up so I don't get cold, brings me a book to read and water to drink. For the first 10 minutes you do feel a little like a princess. But after the first 1/2 hour the royalty has worn off and your feet get cold since all the blood is rushing out of your legs.

So apparently there are special pillows for TTC. Crazy huh? I told the husband that if we don't succeed this cycle then we are buying the pillow because right now half the cushions from the sofa are now in the bedroom and I am tired of tripping over them.

Conception Curve Pillow



Also there is apparently a lubricant for TTC as well. I never knew there was such a large industry built around couples TTC! Makes me feel like a bit of a consumer target.

Do I get to tell these stories to our children someday - about how I suffered from frosty feet while TTC? Don't worry I wouldn't get into the too much info stuff. What we go though for our husbands and future children!

Pre-Seed Lubricant

Baby Name Meanings & Origins

So now I am thinking a lot about Baby Names! I decided to look up the meaning and origins of the names I listed the other day and below is what I found. I appreciated everyone's comments and although they were very amusing I don't think that I will name our future children while the husband is out of the room nor will I pick names out of a hat where the names are stacked in my favor. But ironically the names listed are in order of my personal preference. I am sure much more research will go into this topic and I am sure I will get the husband to see it all my way. Becasue it is of course my job to get the husband to agree with my point of view just on principle. Also I don't think we will be doing any "odd" names like Ohio or Alabama becasue the husband will just counter with Star Trek and Star Wars names and we don't want that. Although Leia isn't too bad . . .hmmm.

• Samantha - Origin = Aramaic / Meaning = listener
  
• Ann - Origin = Hebrew / Meaning = graceful
  
• Katrina - Traits: People describe Katrina as a natural-born ballerina: slender, dainty, and graceful. She comes across as a sensitive.
  
• Jamie/Jaime/Jaimme - Origin = French / Meaning = I love
  
• Alexandra - Origin = Greek / Meaning = helper and defender of mankind
  
• Alexander - Origin = Greek / Meaning = helper of mankind
  
• James - Traits: James is pictured as a big, strong, handsome man who is intelligent, serious, fair, and dependable.
  
• Christopher - Origin = Greek / Meaning = Christ-bearer
  
• Michael - Origin = Hebrew / Meaning = who is like the Lord
  
• David - Origin = Hebrew / Meaning = beloved
  
• Joseph - Origin = Hebrew / Meaning = he shall add
  

Baby Names

Yes I know it is way to early to be naming the eggs and sperm especially since they have yet to meet. But for about as long as the husband and I have been together we have had some baby names - well lets be real - ok I have had some names in mind.

• Samantha Ann - I like the name Samantha and Ann is for my sister - She is the reason I am convinced I could have chosen my parents to have her as my sibling.
  
• Katrina - no not the hurricane - I liked it before then
  
• Jamie Alexandra - Jamie is for us
  
• Alexander James - for the husband
  
• Christopher Michael - for the Husband's sister
  

The husband likes David Joseph - and I know it is a family name but there alre already too many David's in both our families and I am not particularly fond of Joeseph maybe because I just am not to fond of the shortening to Joe. Reminds me of sloppy joes. I know this is the husband's grandpa's name but - it's not like I am gunning for the name Franklin or Frank because of my grandpa and he was a kick ass grandfather - the best!

I just think we should have our own thing for a new generation - and not be like Geroge Foreman with all his boys named George after him. Come on lets let the kids have some individual identity here.

Anyways I am sure there will be much more discussion on this since we have more than enough time between now and when the actual naming must begin but it is obviously on our minds. I am sure we will figure it out. Otherwise Baby M will come home and we will have to make a decision at least by their first birthday - would that be waiting too long?